I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

January 30, 2015

For over 6 months now I have been working on getting into shape by taking an early morning class three mornings a week. It’s comprised of high intensity interval training (HIIT) with running interspersed, and I have also been getting in some runs on days when I don’t have class. The first day of class I thought I was going to DIE. I have never really enjoyed running and when I was trying to keep up with the other folks in the class just to finish the quarter mile run, I was feeling incredibly down on myself. I felt very much like getting into my car and driving home and hoping to God I didn’t run into these people at the grocery store after having darted away with my tail between my legs.

But- I stayed, and kept coming back. Long story short- over the course of several months, I got to where I was able to run four miles without stopping, which is something I had never been able to do. It might not seem far to some, but for this non-runner, that was a big day. I ended up losing about 15 pounds, but more importantly, I have come to feel stronger, more confident, and more comfortable in my own skin.

My main motivation for joining this class was to get healthy and prepare my body to carry a baby. I was uncomfortable in my own skin after a lazy first year of marriage where I had not been exercising, and I knew that 2015 was the year we hoped to start a family. My awesome trainer, Heather, spoke at a Women’s Circle meeting at my church and said that nothing fitness related would really click for you until you found your “why”. I knew right away that my “why” was starting a family. I needed to start down a healthier path to prepare my body and to prove to myself that I could do something like this before having babies, so that I would know I was capable of it afterward. I felt that it would help me get back to it once baby is here (and my hope is that it will!) because I will have already done it before.

Being pregnant and having a child would often cross my mind on runs. It would help me stay motivated to reach the top of a tough hill, or it would give me a boost of energy to pick up my pace. Knowing this body would (God willing) become a vessel to carry such a precious, fragile gift encouraged me to strengthen it.

One song in particular motivated me like no other on my running playlist. “Home” by Phillip Phillips not only has a great beat for running, but it was full of meaning to me during this particular time of anticipation, preparation, and hope. The first time it clicked to me that this would be by anthem for getting myself into better shape I was mid-run and I swear, I started crying as I jogged along. It was like I was singing to this not yet born, not yet even conceived, little baby. I felt like I was loving it already, and preparing my body to be its home for the duration of its time in my womb.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home.

It came on today while I was on a run with Sawyer over my lunch hour, and it was the first time I had heard it since finding out we are pregnant. Now, that… that was a full circle moment. I am not in perfect shape, and I have no idea what my body will go through in the next 8 months and 3 weeks- though I will continue with the classes and modify where needed as long as I can. It’s pretty terrifying, and I’m sure it won’t be pretty. But I feel good knowing that I have, at least, taken the steps to get myself into better shape, which I hope will serve the babe and me well on this adventure. And I am hopeful that this will have given me a needed confidence boost to get back at it once the baby is here so that I can model healthy behavior for this kiddo and any who come after.

Sitting here writing this all I can think about is how good God is. I can see now that all of the miles I put in and the 5:00 AM alarms were preparing me- mentally and physically- for this moment. Hours spent on walks and runs reflecting on the possibility of and the hope for this child were slowly but surely moving my body- and more importantly my heart- where it needed to be.

Baby Hill graduated today from poppy seed to apple seed. Next week he or she will be the size of a sweet pea, which sounds HUGE right now (which I am sure we will laugh at later!) I am already so proud of him or her, working away in my belly to grow and grow. I hope Baby Hill likes his/her new home.