Finding Out

Friday morning, January 23^rd I am standing in the kitchen making coffee. The home pregnancy test sits off to the side, but I am not giving it the same amount of attention as I have the last three months we’ve been trying to get pregnant. True to my utterly impatient nature, I’ve already taken a test three days this week- Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday-since the tests say you can take them up to 5 days before your missed period. (Lesson #1- none of this is in my control, no matter how much I want it to be.)

Given all of the negative tests, I am thinking this one will be a big fat negative too, but just had to double check after the dream I had last night. I dreamt I had a little girl, and that I was breast feeding her. I remember looking down at a sweet little face as she nursed, her head topped with light brown hair and her cheeks rosy and flushed the way babies' are when they first wake up. It felt so incredibly real that something in my gut told me to just take another test the next morning.

I work from home on Fridays, so thankfully am not in much of a rush. I took the test, and proceeded to go about my morning. Clad in my favorite cozy pajamas covered in pink donuts, I placed the filter in the coffee machine. I pulled the pot out to fill with water. I flipped the lever to the sink, and as I began pouring water in, I glanced at the test.

“Pregnant.”

And then my whole world changed.

My heart jumped. Then I jumped! Then I jumped a little bit more. Then I sprang into action to tell Bryan. Months before, I had been a crazy person bought a little tiny onesie from Babies R Us that says “I Heart Dad” on it. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to wait to tell Bryan once I knew, and I wanted to have a cute way on hand to be able to do it. I grabbed the onesie from my underwear drawer where it had been hiding, and placed it on his pillow in the bed. I knocked on the bathroom door and said “Hey, I forgot, I got you a new shirt. Come see it!” “What?” he hollered. I repeated myself. “What??” he hollered again. I repeated myself once more. Third time’s the charm. “Be out in a minute,” he said, and I ran to the bed and sat there under the covers beside the onesie topped pillow.

I get my iPhone ready to video him. I don’t get it going in time, and he walks into the room right as the familiar beep of the video beginning chimes. He hears it and screams “Are you videoing me?! Turn that off!”

Damn. He’s naked. So much for capturing the moment on video. “Sorry, sorry!” I yell and say, “Come look at your shirt.” (Not sure why he hadn’t questioned me further about my random attempt to video him but he didn’t!) Bryan comes to sit beside me and lays back onto the pillow, totally not seeing the white onesie against the it, and says “Where is it?”

This is not going smoothly!

“You’re sitting on it!” I yell. Confused, Bryan turns around and pulls the onesie from behind him. He looks at it. He looks at me. He looks back at it. His eyes light up and he screams “What the expletive?!”

 

I nod vigorously and scream “I’m pregnant!” and we share one of our very best hugs yet.

I chug a bunch of water then take another test: “Pregnant”.

It feels completely surreal for both of us and we keep just staring at one another like “Is this real life??” I call the doctor to make an appointment for next week- Thursday afternoon- and Bryan tears himself away to head into the office.

The adventure begins.