Unfathomable

Friday I was getting my car washed over my lunch break when I heard the news about a school shooting. My first thought was to call Bryan, given that it's part of his job as an Emergency Management Consultant to be aware of and informed about these type of incidents so that they can be prepared to educate their clients. Knowing he was on his way back from a client meeting, I said "I don't know the details, just be sure to check it out when you get back to the office." And then I got home, as I was working remotely that day, and there on the television were the details. There were the horrifying, unfathomable details.

 

An elementary school. Kindergarten classrooms. 18, no 20 children. Children. 7 adults. His own mother.

 

I sat with my computer in my lap trying to work while watching the TV, grasping for a full breath over the lump lodged in my throat and for some reason, some knowledge of an event that could have triggered this horrendous thing. That is often our response, isn't it? We try to find a way to understand the why. But in this case, it looks like we might not ever know.

 

So what then, do we do? How do we do something to help ease this burden that has been placed on the backs of the families in Newtown, Connecticut and on this country, this world?

 

Pray. Honor. Act.

 

For me, the first thing was to pray. Prayer for the parents whose Christmas trees are decorated with the ornaments meticulously made by the children that won't be there Christmas morning to open their gifts. Prayer for the town whose peace was stolen and whose hearts are broken. Prayer for Ryan Lanza who has now lost his mother and his brother, and who must be grappling with questions of what he could have done in the midst of his own confused mourning. Prayer for the students, faculty, and staff that will have to go back into the building where so many were lost and try to keep teaching and keep learning. Prayer for our country and our leaders to be guided in their efforts to do something. Amidst the talk and the arguing about gun control and mental health I think that everyone can agree- we must do something. There has to be a way to try to avoid this happening again.

 

Then, you try to honor those lost. As much as we've all been glued to the television in an effort to answer all of our questions, I almost want to shy away knowing that each time I visit CNN's website, there will be another photograph posted. There will be another freckled face missing a tooth or two whose bright eyes remind me of the hope and good I see in my own nieces and nephews and it is almost too much to handle. It takes my breath away. But it is the right thing to do, in my opinion, to see those faces and read the stories of those kids because they matter. Their faces and their interests and the words their families have to say about them matter so much, and we owe it to them to listen. It is in seeing those faces and reading about how James Mattioli loved spiking his hair and eating his mom's french toast that we acknowledge their much too short lives. It is in looking at the angel face of blue eyed Grace McDonnell and reading that she was the ultimate girly girl that we directly say that her life mattered. These sweet details, though heartbreaking to us now, are the sacred details that made these kids the blessings that they were. Let us celebrate together what made them special. It is so painful to see in the void of their absence, but it is too important to turn a blind eye. Let us tell those families, we see the face of your children and we hear why they were so loved. Your children matter. They are not forgotten.

 

Then we are called to act. There is action needed, surely, to look at the way we empower and help those battling mental illness as was so eloquently written by this mother. We cannot live in a society where the only two choices are living in fear of your child or sending him or her to prison. There is discussion to be had about gun control. While I am a huge believer in one's right to own a gun, I have trouble understanding why there is a need for weapons to be available that have the sole purpose of literally mowing down human beings. But while all of this work needs to be done and these conversations need to be had, the action about which I am speaking in immediate terms is on a much simpler level. What if, in addition to acknowledging these children, these educators, this mother by reading their stories- what if we all go out of our way to extend some kindness to others on their behalf. We cannot undo the atrocity of December 14th, but we do have the power to put good out into the world. That is how we lessen the burden for Newtown and for our country. By choosing love and compassion over hatred and haste. Think twice before honking at the guy who cuts you off in traffic (I am so guilty of this) or losing your patience with the apathetic clerk at the retail store this Christmas season. Buy the person's coffee behind you in line at Dunkin Donuts. Compliment the stranger on how nice they look today. Feed the person with the sign on the side of the road who you might otherwise drive past. Make a point of being a beacon of joy for someone in some way each day.

 

We can't bring back any of the lives lost but let us pray and honor them and act with love in their memory. The world is good through the eyes of a 6 year old who delights in his or her scout troop, in jumping on the trampoline, and in sharing with friends. Let us see through that same lens to honor those lost. Let our small, seemingly insignificant acts of love and compassion add up little by little to combat the evil that happened on Friday. Let the light win over the dark.

 

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40