Unfathomable

Friday I was getting my car washed over my lunch break when I heard the news about a school shooting. My first thought was to call Bryan, given that it's part of his job as an Emergency Management Consultant to be aware of and informed about these type of incidents so that they can be prepared to educate their clients. Knowing he was on his way back from a client meeting, I said "I don't know the details, just be sure to check it out when you get back to the office." And then I got home, as I was working remotely that day, and there on the television were the details. There were the horrifying, unfathomable details.

 

An elementary school. Kindergarten classrooms. 18, no 20 children. Children. 7 adults. His own mother.

 

I sat with my computer in my lap trying to work while watching the TV, grasping for a full breath over the lump lodged in my throat and for some reason, some knowledge of an event that could have triggered this horrendous thing. That is often our response, isn't it? We try to find a way to understand the why. But in this case, it looks like we might not ever know.

 

So what then, do we do? How do we do something to help ease this burden that has been placed on the backs of the families in Newtown, Connecticut and on this country, this world?

 

Pray. Honor. Act.

 

For me, the first thing was to pray. Prayer for the parents whose Christmas trees are decorated with the ornaments meticulously made by the children that won't be there Christmas morning to open their gifts. Prayer for the town whose peace was stolen and whose hearts are broken. Prayer for Ryan Lanza who has now lost his mother and his brother, and who must be grappling with questions of what he could have done in the midst of his own confused mourning. Prayer for the students, faculty, and staff that will have to go back into the building where so many were lost and try to keep teaching and keep learning. Prayer for our country and our leaders to be guided in their efforts to do something. Amidst the talk and the arguing about gun control and mental health I think that everyone can agree- we must do something. There has to be a way to try to avoid this happening again.

 

Then, you try to honor those lost. As much as we've all been glued to the television in an effort to answer all of our questions, I almost want to shy away knowing that each time I visit CNN's website, there will be another photograph posted. There will be another freckled face missing a tooth or two whose bright eyes remind me of the hope and good I see in my own nieces and nephews and it is almost too much to handle. It takes my breath away. But it is the right thing to do, in my opinion, to see those faces and read the stories of those kids because they matter. Their faces and their interests and the words their families have to say about them matter so much, and we owe it to them to listen. It is in seeing those faces and reading about how James Mattioli loved spiking his hair and eating his mom's french toast that we acknowledge their much too short lives. It is in looking at the angel face of blue eyed Grace McDonnell and reading that she was the ultimate girly girl that we directly say that her life mattered. These sweet details, though heartbreaking to us now, are the sacred details that made these kids the blessings that they were. Let us celebrate together what made them special. It is so painful to see in the void of their absence, but it is too important to turn a blind eye. Let us tell those families, we see the face of your children and we hear why they were so loved. Your children matter. They are not forgotten.

 

Then we are called to act. There is action needed, surely, to look at the way we empower and help those battling mental illness as was so eloquently written by this mother. We cannot live in a society where the only two choices are living in fear of your child or sending him or her to prison. There is discussion to be had about gun control. While I am a huge believer in one's right to own a gun, I have trouble understanding why there is a need for weapons to be available that have the sole purpose of literally mowing down human beings. But while all of this work needs to be done and these conversations need to be had, the action about which I am speaking in immediate terms is on a much simpler level. What if, in addition to acknowledging these children, these educators, this mother by reading their stories- what if we all go out of our way to extend some kindness to others on their behalf. We cannot undo the atrocity of December 14th, but we do have the power to put good out into the world. That is how we lessen the burden for Newtown and for our country. By choosing love and compassion over hatred and haste. Think twice before honking at the guy who cuts you off in traffic (I am so guilty of this) or losing your patience with the apathetic clerk at the retail store this Christmas season. Buy the person's coffee behind you in line at Dunkin Donuts. Compliment the stranger on how nice they look today. Feed the person with the sign on the side of the road who you might otherwise drive past. Make a point of being a beacon of joy for someone in some way each day.

 

We can't bring back any of the lives lost but let us pray and honor them and act with love in their memory. The world is good through the eyes of a 6 year old who delights in his or her scout troop, in jumping on the trampoline, and in sharing with friends. Let us see through that same lens to honor those lost. Let our small, seemingly insignificant acts of love and compassion add up little by little to combat the evil that happened on Friday. Let the light win over the dark.

 

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

Christmas Music and Memories

Isn't it crazy how much a song can evoke a memory? You hear a few bars and you are instantly taken back to a specific point in your life's story. I find this particularly true with Christmas music. I am such a sucker for the stuff, and am always super emotional around the holidays thinking about tender memories from childhood and the birth of the baby that changed the world. Here are a few of my favorites...

 

"Welcome to our World": UGH! This song gets me every time. I am instantly taken back to sitting in Holy Cross Church where we went growing up. They did the most beautiful version of this song at Christmas Eve Mass. The air in the church would be so full of warmth and joy and gratitude that you could just feel it (Holy Spirit, much?) This song captures so well that we are broken people and so in need of Christ's compassion, but it brings me a huge sense of peace knowing that He chose to come. Singing "welcome to our world" with this song feels like a personal reminder to me to invite Him into my life.

 

Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence

Welcome to our world

 

 

"The Christmas Song": It has to be the Nat King Cole version- nobody else comes close. This one takes me back to the house I grew up in on Townley Circle and decorating the Christmas tree. We always played the Nat King Cole Christmas album while decorating the tree and this song was my favorite. This event always signaled that Christmas was actually here and kicked off the season. What a gift it is to get to place those ratty, horrible, handmade ornaments you had so proudly presented to your parents as a tot onto the tree each year. We always knew that they would make their appearance each December, but it remained funny year after year to pull them out and show them to everyone (and it still is). My giant soldier face and angel with larger than life lips are worthy of special mention.

 

And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To kids from one to ninety-two

Although it's been said many times

Many ways, Merry Christmas to you

 

 

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas": This one has to be the Judy Garland version. It's a bittersweet tune as it takes me back to the first Christmas after losing my cousin. It came on the radio in my navy blue Ford Explorer and when the line below played, I had to pull off of the road because I was crying so hard. This song, for me, epitomizes the dichotomy of the holidays where there is such immense joy that it makes you want to be with the ones you love, and how incredibly painful it is when you don't have that option.

 

Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow

Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now

 

 

"Deck the Halls": Whenever I hear this song, I don't think of the song as it was intended to sound, but rather how it was interpreted by a group of waiters at a Chinese restaurant in the movie "A Christmas Story". Fa ra ra ra ra trumps fa la la la la any day, in my book. Every Christmas Eve after church, my family would gather together and watch this movie over and over until we went to sleep. Nothing says Christmas like the Red Ryder BB Gun, poor Ralphie and his shot out eye, and the Bumpuses' dogs.

 

Tis the season to be jorry,

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra

 

 

Christmas is definitely my favorite time of the year as I get to re-live all of these memories and prepare to honor the birth of Jesus. I hope that others are as blessed as I am to have such special moments to look back on.

London Calling

Firstly, let me say that yes, I know that I got married between this post and my last. I am FULLY planning to post about the incredible events of that weekend, but have not had time to pay it the attention that it deserves and want to wait until we have the pictures from the photographer to post. More to come. But in the meantime...

(My computer is not allowing me to add photos for some reason, but will edit this post later to include pictures!)

My friend and coworker, Liz, and I finally arrived in London last Friday- November 2nd- around 11:00 AM after a long, not so pleasant flight. I think the combination of the time difference and the overnight flight where we didn't sleep much really did a number on us, and we were THRILLED to touch down in England.

We were greeted by William and Kate at Heathrow for tea. Juuuuust kidding- but doesn't everyone sort of secretly hope that might happen? Like they will say, "Oh, we didn't know YOU guys would be here! Come on, we have some extra tickets to a sweet royal ball tonight and you should totally come!"

No? Just me? I digress.

We made our way to The Tube and headed up to the High Street Kensington stop where our hotel was. It was about a 30 minute ride on a beautiful day and I was struck at how the neighborhoods we rode through actually look like the ones from Harry Potter and/ or Billy Elliott.

We jumped off at High Street Kensington and grabbed a meat pie for some sustenance right away. These things are delicious and while a pie of meat never sounded good to me before, it was love at first bite! Delicious food stop #1- check.

We made the 5 minute walk to our hotel thanks to Liz's master navigational skills. Thankfully she likes to be the planner/ navigator and I like to be the la-di-da, that street looks cute let's go there person. We made a good match with her leading and me following behind pointing out funny birds.

The hotel was so stinking cute- just what you'd imagine a little British hotel to be. It was an old townhouse nestled in a row of others- mostly private residences I believe. We had a cute room with a bathroom (which I learned while hotel searching is not standard in England) and two twin beds.

We proceeded to take much needed, glorious naps before making our way out to explore Kensington. The only way I can describe it is charming. Every bakery, every restaurant, every park- we wanted to visit all of them during our short three day stint in GB.

We went down Kensington Road which- like the rest of London- was an intriguing mix of old and new. Exquisite, old buildings that had been around for hundreds of years sat next to Top Shop and H&M with their modern lines and bright lights. It made for such a delicious  juxtaposition of the city's formal, regal history and its hip, future forward culture.

We stumbled upon Kensington Palace and Kensington Gardens which were both so beautiful. We walked to the nearby Prince of Wales pub to split fish and chips and treat ourselves to a couple of pints. Then we found the Cafe Rouge- a cozy French spot- and had a glass of wine with some fabulous cheeses and homemade bread.

At this point we were excited for our first night in a new country but were borderline exhausted. We wavered between going big or going home. It gets dark SO early- like 4:30- in London so we felt like it was midnight but it was most definitely not even close. Deciding to push through in an effort to stay up to a normal hour and adjust to the time difference, we headed to a pub we had passed called  Goat Tavern. This, as it turned out, was a good choice.

We went downstairs just before rockaoke started which is where you sing karaoke with a live band. There were pints, there were old British guys in fedoras singing, and there was even perhaps the tiniest bit of absinthe, which by the way had the effect of approximately 27 red bulls on us and lead to us both signing up to sing. ("I waaaaant you to waaant me" and so forth.) Needless to say, we danced and sang until it was most assuredly an appropriate hour for bed and we headed back... after stopping at McDonalds. Slept like babies.

After breakfast at the hotel the next morning, we walked to Kensington Palace and toured the exhibits. It was stunning and was a great opportunity to get some insight into the history there. I was most intrigued by the love story of Victoria and Albert. I had, of course, heard of them loads of times but hadn't taken a deep dive. We got to read the tender love letters they wrote one another before their wedding, her thoughts about how wonderful but how exhausting being a mother was, and how they'd much rather keep the company of their kids at home than attend royal functions. It was so apparent how in love they were and how much they cherished their life together in the midst of the royal craziness. This made his fairly early death so incredibly sad, and made my heart hurt for her loss. She mourned him for the rest of her life, building him a huge, ornate memorial in Kensington Gardens and London Bridge too if I remember correctly. It is amazing how their love forever changed the landscape of London.

We went on for an scrumptious lunch at a French spot called Maggie Jones' a couple blocks from our hotel, then went back for a nap.

We walked up to Notting Hill and went down Portobello Road- stopping to buy some gifts for the husbands back home whom we were both already missing very much. Liz spotted a vendor selling mulled wine which we sipped to warm our bellies while we saw the hipster crowd of London walking up and down the street. I felt about 70 years old in my conservative khaki jacket and jeans and half wished I could switch it for one of their baggy sweaters so I wouldn't be such an obvious tourist! We had a beer at a pub (see how we did that a lot?) then walked back toward the tube and ate dinner at a pub just across from Kensington Park.

We hopped onto the tube to Trafalgar Square (which I still can't say right) via the Piccadilly Circus exit. We saw the craziness of the theater district and then walked to see the monument at Trafalgar surrounded by these enormous lions at the bottom keeping guard. It seems that monuments are everywhere you look in London. We passed another one honoring the Battle of Britain later than night, and I was shocked to learn how long the battle had lasted. It is so hard to comprehend that all of that was just a generation ago. That our grandparents and their friends were kids fighting that war- battling such insane evil- still blows my mind. Which brings me to another tradition we got to witness: the poppies.

November 11th is sort of like their Memorial Day, and the British honor those who served by wearing paper poppies throughout the month of November until the 11th. They do this because a large number of poppies bloomed in Normandy where so many of their soldiers were killed. I found it heartwarming to see so many pinned to the jackets of people all around- especially amongst the older gentlemen in their trench coats and hats (who were so British and charming and "ello!" I just wanted to hug every one of them) but also amongst the young people. There were poppies everywhere and it struck me as a beautiful way to remember those they'd lost by wearing something to symbolize the beauty that sprang forth from the ground where such misery and death had been.

We also got to see the London Eye that night as well as Big Ben and Westminster Abbey (from the outside.) It was crazy how close they all were. You could stand in one spot and turn around to see the abbey, the eye, the Thames River, and London Bridge all in one revolution. We walked down the river a ways then hopped back onto the tube.

Neither of us were up for another crazy night and we were both freezing cold, so we popped into a store for a bottle of wine, some sparkling waters, and some snacks and went back to our cozy little beds. We enjoyed the rest of the night in our pajamas watching hysterical British late night shows. For the record, I about wet my pants 5 times laughing at this show and I think our late night TV should mirror their way of doing it! Truly hysterical.

Sunday we enjoyed breakfast "pancakes" at My Old Dutch Pancake House. Their pancakes are really more of gigantic but very thin crepes which they cook with various things in them. Mine came with chicken, bacon (the British kind, so rather, it came with ham), corn, bell peppers, and a little cheese. Neither of us could finish ours but they were absolutely divine. I'll never look at pancakes the same way again.

We popped into Top Shop upon the urging of my friend Sally, and I got a very British, very sassy pair of paints with (wait for it...) leather trim down the side. Very excited for that purchase! We headed down the street and passed the aforementioned memorial monument to Albert, commissioned by Victoria. We could have stayed for an hour determining what each scene and figure meant.

Next we went to Harrods, which is the type of place one only imagines exists  in movies. It was an insanely nice department store with every designer name you could imagine and restaurants and food markets that made you want to bottle their aroma and put it into a candle to burn in your own home.

We picked up a few small gifts and since that place is not so much in our budget (dammit) we moved on to Westmister Abbey. It was closed unless you went for services, so we thought what the heck and went in. Then Liz saw that the Tower of London closed at 4:30 and that we would have to sneak out in order to make it- which we barely did! So I didn't see as much as I'd loved to have of the abbey, but I am so thankful to have been inside such a beautiful place where so many important figures from the past are at rest.

We got to the Tower of London with under an hour to spend so we missed a lot of what there was to see, but we did see the crowned jewels. Holy. Cow. I have never seen so much sparkle and brilliance in all of my life. The sizes of the diamonds- let alone the other jewels- on these crowns was unfathomable. Truly breathtaking.

We saw the spot where Anne Boleyn was murdered which sent chills down my spine after having read about what a completely twisted, sick situation all of that was (not that she was an angel but hey- that was pretty harsh.) We grabbed dinner at Liberty Bounds and hopped onto the tube back to our sweet Kensington neighborhood. We decided that we both really loved this area and we were so glad to have stayed there. Not that I saw all of London by any means, but I loved how unlike other parts it wasn't all business or all neighborhood, but rather was a lovely combination of both.

We went back to Prince of Wales for a final pint of cider and then got some more wine and snacks to top off the night in the room packing up and watching more British TV. (PS, if anyone knows how I can get Coronation Street in America I would be much obliged. Best bad British TV show ever- I am hooked!)

Overall it was a fantastic few days. I think we accomplished the delicate balance between seeing as much as possible in a short amount of time but also not planning ourselves to death so that we couldn't soak anything in. We didn't make it to some of the things on the list but were both content feeling that we really got a sense for the city over these few days.

It made me really regret not having done a foreign study in college. I cannot stress enough- on the off chance that someone reading this is in college or has a kid in college- how much I wish I had made that happen during my four years at Furman. I am so thankful to have had the chance to go now, though, and would love to go back with Bryan one day.

Writing this, I'm four hours into the 8 hour plane trip to India for what I'm sure will be another great adventure. Looking forward to this experience and also to seeing my Bryan in less than two weeks. Missing that husband a whoooole lot.

More from Hyderabad soon!

Pre-Wedding Camping and Bessie's Branches

This past weekend Bryan and I decided to head up to the North Georgia mountains Saturday morning for a short, 24 hour camping trip. More than a couple people looked at us like we were insane for this idea given that it was the weekend before the wedding and with camping comes the risk of snake bites, twisted ankles, poison ivy, etc. We decided that we would risk it, though, and headed up to a campground just outside of Clayton, Georgia. I am SO thankful that we gave ourselves this gift! To be able to unplug for a day from the details and craziness of the wedding planning was very needed and well worth it.



View from our campsite

 We took a long walk on Saturday and talked about what the next week would bring.

Flowers we spotted on our walk

We fixed silver turtles for dinner (if you don't know what a silver turtle is, you are missing out and should google it immediately).

Silver Turtle Goodness

 I caught up on some reading.

This magazine will make you hungry and will make you never want to go above the Mason Dixon. This book will make you grateful and will make you think.

 We enjoyed a lovely box of wine by the campfire and went to sleep early to the sound of the nearby stream. 

Keeping it classy. Ingles' finest box-o-wine and apples roasted with some butter over the campfire.

In the morning, we headed to Tallulah Gorge State Park and hiked for a few hours. We saw several waterfalls. After about ten minutes of trying to avoid it, I even gathered the courage to walk across a suspension bridge that went from one mountain to another over freezing cold, rushing water.

Heights are still not my thing.

On the way back to Atlanta we made a very special stop- one that I had been looking forward to because of its significance but dreading because it is always so ridiculously difficult. We stopped at the resting place of my cousin Beth. If you know me well, you have heard of her! We lost her in 2003 to breast cancer at the age of 33. It was very important to me to find a special, subtle way to have her with me on the wedding day because of the impact she had on my life. I wanted to honor her in a way that would not convey sadness or anger that she isn't here, but one that would celebrate the life she lived and the beauty she brought into this world. We were very close, particularly during my awkward middle school years when it's nice to have someone to look up to who has been where you are and with whom you can have real, honest conversations. She taught me to be confident in who I was rather than to try to be anyone else and to celebrate what made me unique rather than try to hide it (which is a helpful lesson for a 5' 10" 7th grader with braces!) She always made me feel special and feel that I was loved and was enough- just how I was. She had the most infectious laugh and the most joyful disposition. I miss her every day.

So B and I made the confronting yet important trip. We clipped several small branches from the beautiful tree that was planted beside her. It is huge now, with big green leaves and small brown berries. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful Sunday and we got to sit on the bench below while the wind blew through the tree in a very peaceful way.

I will bring the branches to our wonderful florist at some point this week, and she will incorporate them into my bridal bouquet. I am so blessed to have had Beth in my life and I am so glad that I will have a representation of her- a grateful ackowledgement of her impact on my life- included in the beautiful details of the day.

Bessie's Branches

Overall, this weekend was spent exactly the way B and I wanted it to be spent. Reflecting on the past, soaking up the present, and anticipating the bright, beautiful future. I cannot believe I am finally going to be his wife in a few days. Life is so very sweet.

On Becoming a Hill

Growing up I always wondered what my new last name would be one day. What would my new monogram look like? Would it sound funny with my first name? Where would my kids fall in line when they got in alphabetical order to walk to music class in elementary school? (I always loved how early in the line I got to be as a "C"!)

 

So when B and I got engaged, the question I had wondered about was finally answered. I would officially be a Hill. (Bryan jokes with me that my noun to name ratio is about to increase drastically.)

 

To be honest, the concept both got me incredibly excited and made me a little sad too. It's surprisingly bittersweet to be closing one chapter and moving on to another. Don't get me wrong- it's not marrying Bryan that's the weird part. I have known I wanted to marry him for quite some time now and I am 100% ready to make that commitment. It's just that I LOVE being a Callahan. It's a great name. It's uncommon enough to be unique but common enough to where people (usually) don't ask you to spell it when you make a reservation. My parents are Callahans and I am really very fond of those two. It's automatically associated with being Irish, which means being awesome in general and also a good choice for a person with whom one should drink beer. And the occasional person I run across will ask me about Big Tom Callahan and brake pads, which always makes my day.

 

It's a lot to let go of. It's the person I have woken up as every day since forever.

 

Throughout the engagement, it has become a lot easier for me to picture. There is such a purpose for having a long-ish an engagement in my opinion. And I'm not just talking in terms of planning the wedding, though Holy Moses that is enough to be a full time job. There is a change that has happened in our relationship as we have prepared to become man and wife. I am fortunate enough to be marrying a man who really sees the value in preparing for marriage. We walked into our (required) pre-marital counseling with our priest with an open mind, excited to make progress on those issues we had discussed and said "We'll cross that bridge when we get there." The bridge was here. It was time to make some decisions about the way we planned to raise a family, handle money, etc. We got a lot out of that time. We also opted to do the weekend retreat instead of the day long option to give ourselves time to get away from the world and really focus on listening to one another. We learned a TON from the couples who lead the retreat about selflessness, about actively listening, and about making the choice to love one another (which is not always easy).

 

I say all of that because I feel like our year long engagement and the pre-marital work we have done have really brought us together to a place where we are truly ready to marry one another. And that means taking a step away from the family and the person I have been and taking a step toward Bryan and making our own, tiny, two person family.

 

This morning we got an email from the Ritz confirming our wedding night reservation and gathering some information from us. It started "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hill".

 

MRS. HILL- referring to me! My heart about exploded with joy and excitement!! I am so thankful for the engagement period where I was able to get used to the idea and get to a place with Bryan where we are ready to become our own family unit.

 

Appropriately, it's October 1st and I now get to say I am getting married this month. Next week, in fact. It's hard to believe that it's finally almost here. I am beyond excited and am most definitely ready to officially be a Hill.

 

 

I'd love to know if anyone else had these feelings. Did you have a hard time parting with your last name?

Surprise Sunday Funday

Today was the first day in I don't even know how long that I got to wake up in my own bed in my own house without an alarm set or a thing to do before noon. GLORIOUS.

I awoke at about 8:45 but was determined to just stay in bed and relax and eventually I fell back asleep. That is, until I woke up to this:

Eggs, Sweet Potato Hash Browns, and a Biscuit. Top of the morning to me.

B surprised me with breakfast in bed! What a dear. He even fixed pumpkin spiced coffee! I think I finally have him on the fall bandwagon. After breakfast I got the grand idea that we should go to Piedmont Park, bring a blanket, and relax for a couple of hours. He was up for it and we headed to the park. Much to our surprise, when we walked to the park we found ourselves at the Atlanta Art Festival, which was being held in the park over the weekend.

We walked around and checked out some cool exhibits, ran into friends Jason and Allie, and eventually made our way to a nice patch of grass where we settled in and listened to some music while enjoying delectable King of Pops popsicles.




Watermelon Mojito and Strawerries & Cream. King of Pops, indeed.



There was a cute guy and girl duo on stage singing some perfect Sunday tunes by like Hallelujah and Tequila Sunrise. The weather, while not as crisp as I'd like, was a comfy temperature that made for some perfectly pleasant deep breaths and relaxation.



Not a bad view.



After leaving the festival we stopped at one of our my favorite spots for a margarita and some tacos. We sat on the porch and watched some cute kids pass by, waving to the puppies who sat on the other side of the fence hoping for the occasional chip to be tossed to them from their parents who sat at the next table.

This was a good day.

As thrilling as the wedding planning process is, I am reeeally looking forward to more days like this in the future once we are married and things calm down a bit (that is, after my India trip... and Thanksgiving... and Christmas). It is so fun to wake up with no idea where the day will take you and to be surprised by the mini-adventures you find.

30 days and counting!

Today is September 13th and this time next month I am going to be a WIFE.

Holy. Cow.

We had our Walk Through with our wonderful vendors today at the Atlanta Botanical Garden where the reception will be held. Our florist, our caterer, and our wedding planners were all in attendance as well as my parents. Unfortunately B had a work commitment and couldn't attend. Let me tell you how cool it was to sit at the table with these people. I think that people in the wedding and event business have their own language. There was talk of chivaris and 4x8's and high tops and coffee and cake courses going back and forth like you would not believe. It was impressive. I just sort of sat back and observed while the little girl in the dress up bridal gown my Gamie made me jumped up and down screaming "Yippee! Woohoo! It's happening!"

I feel so blessed and lucky to have this team of experts coming together to make our day go off smoothly. I know there is still much to be done, but after this meeting today, I feel so assured that no matter what happens, it is going to be an incredible day. A perfect setting and backdrop for the biggest and most significant commitment Bryan and I will ever make. Talking through the details makes everything so real, and now it's a matter of days- not months- until I get to walk down the aisle to the kindest man I know.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for cool, crisp, fall weather on the bog day. In fact Bryan told me last night that I have to stop saying the word "fall" because I am driving him nuts. Oops. I think I am sort of willing the season to change so that we get those beautiful orange, yellow, and red hues we're hoping for in the background of the pictures. But even if it rains or it's hot as blue blazes- we will still be sitting down enjoying some delicious surf and turf and drinks at our reception surrounded by loved ones this time in one month. So really, it's all good.

Levy Parterre, where the cocktail hour will be. BEAUTIFUL.

Morning Chats with Ben

I called my sister this morning, which I do most days, to check in and see what is happening today in her crazy, busy, 2 kid-having life. She lives a state away so it's sort of our way of shortening that distance a bit. I was surprised when I heard that someone had answered, but I didn't hear the standard "Hey sister" I am usually greeted with. I said "Hello?" and heard and excited reply of "Heeeyyy Mommmaaaa!"

I said "Hey Ben, this isn't Momma, it's Aunt Paige." He said "Oh! Hey Aunt Paige, I thought you were my mooommaaaa." If you haven't had the pleasure of speaking with my sweet, just-turned-3 nephew Ben, you may not know that the last word of every sentence is a bit drawn out which makes conversing with him one of my favorite activities. I went on to have a 6 minute conversation with Ben. Here are the highlights:

"Hey Aunt Paige, you can come to my Cailou birfday party when I turn 4 in thirty weeeeeks!" (Not true.)

"Really? Thanks bud- can Uncle Bryan come too?"

"Yes, Aunt Paige, he caaaannn! Okay, see you at my Cailou birfday party and Christmas!"

"Hey Ben, you know what happens even before your birthday or Christmas? Uncle Bryan's and my wedding, remember?"

"Yes, Aunt Paige, I dooooo. And Ben's gonna be the ring bear, and I don't know what Momma's gonna be."

"Momma is going to be my Matron of Honor."

"Yep. And my daddy's going to wear a black jacket just like Ben!"



"Hey Ben, where are Momma and Daddy? Who handed you the phone?"

"Ben just went up and gwabbed it all by himself!" 

"Wow- okay! Can you hand Mom or Dad the phone now?"

"Yep, sure can! I will go find my daaaaaddyyyy."

(Sister- your 3 year old can answer the phone now all by himself. Congratulations and I will pray for you. In the words of my favorite Momma blogger- carry on, warrior.)



"Okay buddy, I will talk to you later. I love you!"

"Okaaaay!"

"I love you Ben."

"Okaaaay!"

"Do you love Aunt Paige too?"

"Yep, sure do!"



Pure. Sweetness. What a great way to start my day. I am so thankful for that little man.

NOLA, Dinner Dates, Showers, Sweet Jack, and Charleston

Holy cow these past few weeks have been INSANE! At some point every day I have thought to myself "Ooh I have to blog about this!" and then quickly scurried right along to the next fun thing. I suppose rule number one of blogging is not to let too much stuff happen in between updates so that you have a post the size of Texas. So, this one will mostly consist of pictures!

First up was my incredible bachelorette party in New Orleans! I was completely overwhelmed and humbled by all of the work that went into organizing it (thank you Marisa!) and all of the friends who made the trip to The Big Easy to help me celebrate my last few days of singledom.

First we spent the trip down laughing at the Animals section of Pinterest.

Then we checked into the stunning Roosevelt Hotel. BEAUTIFUL!

Then there was Bourbon Street...  

What an amazing trip. I am so blessed to have these wonderful women in my life and I can't wait to celebrate with them in October at the wedding.

I returned to Atlanta and Bryan and I got to enjoy dinner with my godparents, Larry and Lynn, at a restaurant called Woodfire Grill where we had never been. They treated us to a 7 course dinner that was out of this world. There were scallops. There was chocolate. There was a wine pairing. It was such a treat. The coolest part about it is that B and I genuinely enjoy hanging out with them. They are so supportive of our relationship (pays to have a couple who ran Pre-Cana sessions for years for godparents), are full of wisdom, and are ridiculously fun.



7 courses are better than 1

The next Saturday was a shower hosted by some of our oldest family friends, the Bohans, the Carscallens, and the Johnsons. It was held at Grace 1720 and was so much fun! The venue had sort of a Tuscan feel, and they used rosemary in the flower arrangements that made the whole room smell amazing. It was just beautiful and made me feel super loved.

My place setting at the shower

That weekend I even got the chance to decorate a little bit for Fall (way too early, but the next few weekends I would be out of town). Yes, I know I am not officially an H yet, but I figured since Bryan lives here too, it is allowed. Plus I won't have to buy a new letter next Fall.

Happy Almost Fall Y'all

Then the following week we got an early surprise when Bryan's brother and sister-in-law had their sweet baby, Jack, two weeks early! Laurie was a bad ass and had one of the quickest deliveries I have ever heard of without any medication- quite impressive. I was singing the theme song for Sweet Jack in my head the whole day before finally getting to meet him that night.

"Sweet, Sweet Jack..."

Is there anything like holding a brand new, soft as can be little baby? My favorite part was when he opened his eyes and looked around at everyone. You just wonder what they are thinking after such an incredible journey seeing the world for the first time. Truly a miracle to witness. Love him already.

This last weekend over Labor Day we headed to Charleston for Sally's bachelorette party which was oh so fun. We ate at some wonderful restaurants and made friends with Angelo at a bar called Henry's. We went to that spot all three nights and literally danced the night away. I feel like we never do that anymore. We do lots of going out with friends these days, but rarely do we just dance the whole night- especially with just the girls. It is good for the soul, I tell you. The accompanying drinks were not so good for our livers, but hey. Win some, lose some.

When in Charleston... monogram things using preppy colors.



Sally's bachelorette crew, sans Steph who was playing photographer

Notable moments from the weekend included Sally's shower games, running into a band member from Needtobreathe (a band Sal and I are HUGE fans of, and most Furman grads), aforementioned dance parties, bottomless mimosas, and a whole lot of singing Sweet Brown's infamous hit. All in all, a successful bachelorette party! 

Looking forward to traveling to St. Louis this weekend for my friend/roomie from college's wedding!

Lessons in Homeownership: Basement Floods & Weeds

B and I had a great weekend visiting one of my favorite people in Greenville! My friend Myada has a fabulous new apartment downtown which I have been dying to see, and we finally had a chance to make it up to G-Vegas for a visit. We got to enjoy her company as well as sushi at Tsunami, ice cream at Spill the Beans, and cocktails at some of our favorite spots. Then today, we celebrated our dear friends, Sally and Gregg, at a couples wedding shower in Greenville. The food was delicious, the company was great, and the laughs were many. Overall a wonderful weekend!

Afterward, we headed home to Atlanta to get back to real life. Our yard needed some attention, so we'd planned to get straight to work. As soon as we unpacked the car, we changed and headed to the basement to retrieve the yard tools. And then we found this:



Welllll crap.

Where our dry, only relatively creepy basement should have been was our wet and a little bit smelly basement. We quickly found ourselves having yet another "Oh my gosh this is our first house and we don't know what to do or why this is happening!" moments. I am sure lots of friends can relate. You feel a bit torn between running away with your arms flailing in the air, calling your parents and screaming "help!", and thinking about how to rationally handle it on your own like the mature, responsible adult you are (trying to be.)

After staring dumbfoundedly at one another for a few moments, we put on our detective hats and found that the source of the unwanted water was our air conditioning unit, which came new with the house. We called Bryan's handy stepfather who could likely disassemble a jet, put it back together, and make it work faster than it did before. He said it was probably that the filter was too dirty, and that it had caused our condenser coils to freeze over. (Clearly I am asking Bryan, "Now what froze over again? What is that thing called?" as I am typing here...)

Turns out he was right! Although Bryan has changed the filter every few months (unbeknownst to me- thanks B!), apparently our house's air was extra dirty and clogged the thing right up. And then because it was so dirty, the whole thing mutinied and started leaking water all over our cornhole set and beach chairs.

Scorned Air Filter



My Uncle Joe, who lives two streets over and has been a lifesaver on a number of occasions during "Our First House Freak Outs" came over to take a look at things and helped confirm our diagnosis. He helped B check the water meter to make sure that we didn't have a leak.

We did not. SUCCESS!

Super Joe to the Rescue!

After Bryan borrowed our neighbor's wet vac and got over 30 gallons of water out of our basement, the crisis came to its conclusion. Another lesson learned.

Now that the flood was finished with, we still had to work on the yard. Ever seen the movie Ferngully? That's sort of how our yard was starting to look.



Mosquito infested devil weeds and my knight in shining... Dawson's Creek sleeveless tee

Despite our best efforts to plant grass, lay pine straw, etc., the only thing that grows SUPER well in our yard is weeds. We have lots of patchy spots where the grass didn't take and a few hanging baskets which are no longer hanging because I killed the flowers in them, but the weeds- they are thriving! My folks got us a weed wacker and today Bryan put it to use. He attacked, and I followed behind bagging the slain weeds. Once my allergies kicked in and I started sneezing, I even donned a super sexy H1N1-esque mask.

HOT

Despite the heat and the swarms of mosquitoes, we made a lot of progress.

Take that devil weeds!

Bryan gets most of the credit. I eventually went inside and started working on dinner, unpacking from the trip, and sipping on a well deserved Coors Light.





Keep going honey! You're doing a great job! Hooray Bryan!

All in all, this was a busy Sunday! A wedding shower, a short road trip, a small crisis followed by a life lesson, and a little elbow grease. Thankful for my almost husband for baring the brunt of the work outside and thankful to have him as my partner in learning how to be a grown up. 

Like any good almost wife, I rewarded him with bacon for dinner.

Open faced BL's (oops, no T's in the house) and roasted sweet potatoes

While our yard is still far from where we want it to be and at this point we are considering professional help, I have to say that I still absolutely adore our little house.



Home is wherever I'm with you.



Deliciousness and My Random Fiance

I feel compelled to share the recipe I fixed last night that we enjoyed again tonight. I found it on Pinterest among the million savory sounding recipes on my Yummers! board that I have not yet found the motivation to make. I decided to finally give one a go! B and I have talked a lot recently about adding more vegetable based meals to our diets and this seemed like a good way to do so. 

The recipe is for stacked roasted vegetable enchiladas and you can find out how to make it here. I mostly followed the recipe, but doubled up on the cauliflower and cut the number of tortillas in half. Also, I am not chef-y enough to make my own tortillas, so I just bought the smaller whole wheat ones at the Kroger. 

This puppy is time intensive and requires a whole lot of chopping so if you're short on time, this is not the recipe you're looking for. You have to chop all the veggies then roast them for 45 minutes before you even assemble the casserole and then bake it for 30 more minutes. But friends- it is SO worth it! 

Veggie Goodness

After his first bite, Bryan said, "And this doesn't even have any meat in it? Wow!" The concept of an all vegetable meal is a tough one for the guy who has a personal vendetta against portobello mushrooms because they are sometimes substituted for beef in burgers. But, the seasoning and deliciousnes of the roasted veggies made up for it. You could easily substitute any of the veggies in the recipe for whatever you have on hand like broccoli, carrots, etc. 

The leftovers were equally as good tonight, too, so it's a good one to eat off of for the week. We had hoped this meal would last us three nights.... it did not. Too delicious to say no to seconds. Womp womp, cooking again tomorrow.

On another note, here is a glimpse into a happy moment I got to have today. I have an app on my phone that counts down to the wedding by the second. Sometimes this causes me to completely panic thinking about how much we still have left to do (hotel bags and fittings and programs, oh my!), but mostly it gets me really excited. Every day at 2:30 PM, the number of days until I am Mrs. Hill goes down by one. Often times I will text B and let him know about our new countdown number. Today, the number of days went from 66 to 65, so I sent him a text to let him know (because I am sure he was waiting with baited breath for the update!) Here is how that exchange went:

If you don't know Bryan, you probably think this is a very strange conversation. If you do know Bryan, you know that this is completely normal and it probably doesn't surprise you even a tiny bit. 

Strange? Yes. Did it make me laugh out loud at my desk and bring a smile to my face? You bet. 

Thankful for an almost husband who blows a pretend conch in triumph because we are getting hitched in 65 days.