If you're like me, you have spent the last few days trying to make sense of the events that occurred in Charlottesville last weekend. The most chilling coverage, and it seems to me the most accurate since it is comprised of firsthand interviews and footage, is here. I fully admit my naivete here, but this video was SHOCKING to me. I honestly did not understand that people who feel this way, and who are so unapologetic in their beliefs, still exist in our country. Even for those who disagree on important issues, there still seems to be some general respect and integrity present in our discord. But this was different. Blame it on my privilege, but I just did not comprehend that this was a reality in our country today. (And if you're uncomfortable with or don't understand the concept of privilege, check out this video. Privilege doesn't mean you're bad or that you've done something wrong, it's something that each of us just has based on our specific life circumstances. It's just a fact.)
Charlottesville has shocked me.
I haven't slept very well the past few nights because my mind has been replaying the images and words from the past weekend, as well as the words of our president in response to the events. I was laying awake last night after 1:00 AM, annoyed that I still couldn't fall asleep, and then it struck me. I thought, "Good, Paige! Good that you can't sleep. This is probably how mothers of black children feel most of the time. This is probably how your Muslim friends feel a lot of the time. This is probably how your gay friends feel a lot of the time." And none of this horrific sentiment is even directed at me! Imagine the sleepless nights of those who actually fear for themselves and their families. While I lie awake fearing for the world that my child will grow up in, others fear for their actual children.
My sister once told me that becoming a mom changes your entire perspective on the world. She told me that you can no longer drive past a homeless person without wondering what happened that got them there. She said you would picture that person as a baby, in the arms of his or her mother, and wonder what had happened between then and now that lead this person to be without a home or a family. I remember thinking that this sounded like a stretch, but I have found this to be 100% accurate after having Liam. So as I watched this horrific, hateful speech from men like Christopher Cantwell and heard the chants of "blood and soil", I cannot help but wonder what in the world happened to these people between the time that they came into this world and now. Did they have a family that loved them? Did they hear and learn some distorted version of God and what He teaches us? Who modeled for them that differences are dangerous?
I don't mean to say that each of these people came from horrible families. I am sure many are shocked to see loved ones in this footage, like Peter Tefft's father who disowned his son after seeing him marching in Charlottesville. Perhaps despite loving homes, kids were horrible to them in school or made them feel different or left out, causing them to seek comfort in the quick community one can find online. Perhaps the feeling of being different made them find somewhere they felt a part of something, where they could point their anger and hatred at something "different" that wasn't them.
I hear these people and they make me angry. They make my chest tighten and they make me want to scream. But more than anything, they make me sad. I am sad because all of these people who had, and still have, potential to do good in the world have instead chosen to spread hatred. I think it is important to remember that we are called to love our enemies, and though I do not excuse ANY of their behavior and believe that they should be held accountable, I think it is important to remember that God is capable of changing hearts. He has done so many times, and I pray that he will work to change theirs.
I have seen a lot of posts from really good people these past few days saying things along the lines of "If you voted for Trump, I hope you're happy now." I didn't personally vote for him, but I will tell you that I was horribly conflicted and hated voting this last election. I was not pumped for either option. And I know a lot of people that voted for him who were equally as disconcerted, and felt that nobody represented them. Many people, particularly Conservatives, felt that they had no good options. That's just the reality. I can tell you that many with whom I have spoken since are rightfully disappointed and disgusted with his performance thus far, and certainly with his comments regarding the events in Charlottesville.
I understand where the anger is coming from when I see comments blaming those who voted for him. But I think it's valuable and necessary to try to empathize with folks who tried to make the best choice in a difficult election, and who you can bet the ranch are disgusted with the hatred and murder that occurred last weekend. Perhaps many are remaining silent in their conversations on social media and with friends for fear that admitting that they voted for him means they'll be faced with blame and the conclusion that they're racist bigots. We cannot act like everyone who voted for Trump agrees with the racist, hateful people who marched in Charlottesville, or with our ridiculous president's comments about them. That only serves to further divide us.
Tonight, as I continued to grapple with this situation, my mind kept coming back to my son. How do I raise him to be a good person? How do I make sure he never becomes lost should he face mean kids at school and feel ostracized one day? How do I even explain that this kind of hatred exists in our country? I checked the monitor and he wasn't yet sleeping, so I snuck in to hug that precious little boy, and I just prayed. I prayed the Lord's Prayer many times. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Eventually, I said, "Okay buddy, time for bed." Liam looked up at me and said, "Sleep." with a huge grin on his face. I said, "Yes buddy, sleep." Without prompting he whispered, "I love you soooo much." I told him I loved him too, and with tears streaming down my face, laid him in his crib.
What a precious gift to receive. When my mind was burdened and my heart was heavy with worry, this innocent little one looked up and shared that he loves me. Soooo much. That simple display of love was the answer to the question I didn't know I was asking him. I went to hold him needing to be reminded of goodness, and he responded with the unsolicited, generous response of loving me.
Let us all do the same right now as we discern how to traverse the dicey, scary place that is our country right now. Let us respond to one another with unabashed love.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Charlottesville has shocked me.
I haven't slept very well the past few nights because my mind has been replaying the images and words from the past weekend, as well as the words of our president in response to the events. I was laying awake last night after 1:00 AM, annoyed that I still couldn't fall asleep, and then it struck me. I thought, "Good, Paige! Good that you can't sleep. This is probably how mothers of black children feel most of the time. This is probably how your Muslim friends feel a lot of the time. This is probably how your gay friends feel a lot of the time." And none of this horrific sentiment is even directed at me! Imagine the sleepless nights of those who actually fear for themselves and their families. While I lie awake fearing for the world that my child will grow up in, others fear for their actual children.
My sister once told me that becoming a mom changes your entire perspective on the world. She told me that you can no longer drive past a homeless person without wondering what happened that got them there. She said you would picture that person as a baby, in the arms of his or her mother, and wonder what had happened between then and now that lead this person to be without a home or a family. I remember thinking that this sounded like a stretch, but I have found this to be 100% accurate after having Liam. So as I watched this horrific, hateful speech from men like Christopher Cantwell and heard the chants of "blood and soil", I cannot help but wonder what in the world happened to these people between the time that they came into this world and now. Did they have a family that loved them? Did they hear and learn some distorted version of God and what He teaches us? Who modeled for them that differences are dangerous?
I don't mean to say that each of these people came from horrible families. I am sure many are shocked to see loved ones in this footage, like Peter Tefft's father who disowned his son after seeing him marching in Charlottesville. Perhaps despite loving homes, kids were horrible to them in school or made them feel different or left out, causing them to seek comfort in the quick community one can find online. Perhaps the feeling of being different made them find somewhere they felt a part of something, where they could point their anger and hatred at something "different" that wasn't them.
I hear these people and they make me angry. They make my chest tighten and they make me want to scream. But more than anything, they make me sad. I am sad because all of these people who had, and still have, potential to do good in the world have instead chosen to spread hatred. I think it is important to remember that we are called to love our enemies, and though I do not excuse ANY of their behavior and believe that they should be held accountable, I think it is important to remember that God is capable of changing hearts. He has done so many times, and I pray that he will work to change theirs.
I have seen a lot of posts from really good people these past few days saying things along the lines of "If you voted for Trump, I hope you're happy now." I didn't personally vote for him, but I will tell you that I was horribly conflicted and hated voting this last election. I was not pumped for either option. And I know a lot of people that voted for him who were equally as disconcerted, and felt that nobody represented them. Many people, particularly Conservatives, felt that they had no good options. That's just the reality. I can tell you that many with whom I have spoken since are rightfully disappointed and disgusted with his performance thus far, and certainly with his comments regarding the events in Charlottesville.
I understand where the anger is coming from when I see comments blaming those who voted for him. But I think it's valuable and necessary to try to empathize with folks who tried to make the best choice in a difficult election, and who you can bet the ranch are disgusted with the hatred and murder that occurred last weekend. Perhaps many are remaining silent in their conversations on social media and with friends for fear that admitting that they voted for him means they'll be faced with blame and the conclusion that they're racist bigots. We cannot act like everyone who voted for Trump agrees with the racist, hateful people who marched in Charlottesville, or with our ridiculous president's comments about them. That only serves to further divide us.
Tonight, as I continued to grapple with this situation, my mind kept coming back to my son. How do I raise him to be a good person? How do I make sure he never becomes lost should he face mean kids at school and feel ostracized one day? How do I even explain that this kind of hatred exists in our country? I checked the monitor and he wasn't yet sleeping, so I snuck in to hug that precious little boy, and I just prayed. I prayed the Lord's Prayer many times. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Eventually, I said, "Okay buddy, time for bed." Liam looked up at me and said, "Sleep." with a huge grin on his face. I said, "Yes buddy, sleep." Without prompting he whispered, "I love you soooo much." I told him I loved him too, and with tears streaming down my face, laid him in his crib.
What a precious gift to receive. When my mind was burdened and my heart was heavy with worry, this innocent little one looked up and shared that he loves me. Soooo much. That simple display of love was the answer to the question I didn't know I was asking him. I went to hold him needing to be reminded of goodness, and he responded with the unsolicited, generous response of loving me.
Let us all do the same right now as we discern how to traverse the dicey, scary place that is our country right now. Let us respond to one another with unabashed love.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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