Pre-Wedding Camping and Bessie's Branches

This past weekend Bryan and I decided to head up to the North Georgia mountains Saturday morning for a short, 24 hour camping trip. More than a couple people looked at us like we were insane for this idea given that it was the weekend before the wedding and with camping comes the risk of snake bites, twisted ankles, poison ivy, etc. We decided that we would risk it, though, and headed up to a campground just outside of Clayton, Georgia. I am SO thankful that we gave ourselves this gift! To be able to unplug for a day from the details and craziness of the wedding planning was very needed and well worth it.



View from our campsite

 We took a long walk on Saturday and talked about what the next week would bring.

Flowers we spotted on our walk

We fixed silver turtles for dinner (if you don't know what a silver turtle is, you are missing out and should google it immediately).

Silver Turtle Goodness

 I caught up on some reading.

This magazine will make you hungry and will make you never want to go above the Mason Dixon. This book will make you grateful and will make you think.

 We enjoyed a lovely box of wine by the campfire and went to sleep early to the sound of the nearby stream. 

Keeping it classy. Ingles' finest box-o-wine and apples roasted with some butter over the campfire.

In the morning, we headed to Tallulah Gorge State Park and hiked for a few hours. We saw several waterfalls. After about ten minutes of trying to avoid it, I even gathered the courage to walk across a suspension bridge that went from one mountain to another over freezing cold, rushing water.

Heights are still not my thing.

On the way back to Atlanta we made a very special stop- one that I had been looking forward to because of its significance but dreading because it is always so ridiculously difficult. We stopped at the resting place of my cousin Beth. If you know me well, you have heard of her! We lost her in 2003 to breast cancer at the age of 33. It was very important to me to find a special, subtle way to have her with me on the wedding day because of the impact she had on my life. I wanted to honor her in a way that would not convey sadness or anger that she isn't here, but one that would celebrate the life she lived and the beauty she brought into this world. We were very close, particularly during my awkward middle school years when it's nice to have someone to look up to who has been where you are and with whom you can have real, honest conversations. She taught me to be confident in who I was rather than to try to be anyone else and to celebrate what made me unique rather than try to hide it (which is a helpful lesson for a 5' 10" 7th grader with braces!) She always made me feel special and feel that I was loved and was enough- just how I was. She had the most infectious laugh and the most joyful disposition. I miss her every day.

So B and I made the confronting yet important trip. We clipped several small branches from the beautiful tree that was planted beside her. It is huge now, with big green leaves and small brown berries. Thankfully, the weather was beautiful Sunday and we got to sit on the bench below while the wind blew through the tree in a very peaceful way.

I will bring the branches to our wonderful florist at some point this week, and she will incorporate them into my bridal bouquet. I am so blessed to have had Beth in my life and I am so glad that I will have a representation of her- a grateful ackowledgement of her impact on my life- included in the beautiful details of the day.

Bessie's Branches

Overall, this weekend was spent exactly the way B and I wanted it to be spent. Reflecting on the past, soaking up the present, and anticipating the bright, beautiful future. I cannot believe I am finally going to be his wife in a few days. Life is so very sweet.

On Becoming a Hill

Growing up I always wondered what my new last name would be one day. What would my new monogram look like? Would it sound funny with my first name? Where would my kids fall in line when they got in alphabetical order to walk to music class in elementary school? (I always loved how early in the line I got to be as a "C"!)

 

So when B and I got engaged, the question I had wondered about was finally answered. I would officially be a Hill. (Bryan jokes with me that my noun to name ratio is about to increase drastically.)

 

To be honest, the concept both got me incredibly excited and made me a little sad too. It's surprisingly bittersweet to be closing one chapter and moving on to another. Don't get me wrong- it's not marrying Bryan that's the weird part. I have known I wanted to marry him for quite some time now and I am 100% ready to make that commitment. It's just that I LOVE being a Callahan. It's a great name. It's uncommon enough to be unique but common enough to where people (usually) don't ask you to spell it when you make a reservation. My parents are Callahans and I am really very fond of those two. It's automatically associated with being Irish, which means being awesome in general and also a good choice for a person with whom one should drink beer. And the occasional person I run across will ask me about Big Tom Callahan and brake pads, which always makes my day.

 

It's a lot to let go of. It's the person I have woken up as every day since forever.

 

Throughout the engagement, it has become a lot easier for me to picture. There is such a purpose for having a long-ish an engagement in my opinion. And I'm not just talking in terms of planning the wedding, though Holy Moses that is enough to be a full time job. There is a change that has happened in our relationship as we have prepared to become man and wife. I am fortunate enough to be marrying a man who really sees the value in preparing for marriage. We walked into our (required) pre-marital counseling with our priest with an open mind, excited to make progress on those issues we had discussed and said "We'll cross that bridge when we get there." The bridge was here. It was time to make some decisions about the way we planned to raise a family, handle money, etc. We got a lot out of that time. We also opted to do the weekend retreat instead of the day long option to give ourselves time to get away from the world and really focus on listening to one another. We learned a TON from the couples who lead the retreat about selflessness, about actively listening, and about making the choice to love one another (which is not always easy).

 

I say all of that because I feel like our year long engagement and the pre-marital work we have done have really brought us together to a place where we are truly ready to marry one another. And that means taking a step away from the family and the person I have been and taking a step toward Bryan and making our own, tiny, two person family.

 

This morning we got an email from the Ritz confirming our wedding night reservation and gathering some information from us. It started "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hill".

 

MRS. HILL- referring to me! My heart about exploded with joy and excitement!! I am so thankful for the engagement period where I was able to get used to the idea and get to a place with Bryan where we are ready to become our own family unit.

 

Appropriately, it's October 1st and I now get to say I am getting married this month. Next week, in fact. It's hard to believe that it's finally almost here. I am beyond excited and am most definitely ready to officially be a Hill.

 

 

I'd love to know if anyone else had these feelings. Did you have a hard time parting with your last name?